Drifting

Lately I've been drifting...I am drifting away from people, drifting through life, drifting and just going where the world steers me. I don't think this is what I want...and it's certainly not what I had in mind for my future. And it has made me depressed - and I don't have much to look forward to these days. Even the weekends are all the same, boring and unfulfilling - and isn't that the time that is supposed to make the work week seem worthwhile?

So let's make a list of what I can do to regain control:

~Assert independance. I was always a very independant person growing up, I never listened to anyone - and did what I wanted to do, sometimes it was the right choice, and sometimes it most definitely was not. So I need to regain that control in my life. I'm not a 'we' person, and somehow I became one. What the heck happened to me?

~Work out. Yup, it seems like an old-as-time patch to any of life's problems, but I feel that working out really does help me feel stronger inside as well as out. I need to get back into that! Lately I've been putting it off because I have limited time at home with my long work days - but I think I should go to the gym instead sitting at home from 6:00 on and doing nothing.

~Enroll in classes. I need to get working on my degree again. It's true that my job is far from my dream job, and my degree is certainly not my dream degree. But I need something - and then maybe I can go on to do something else. (Like a master's in something I actually want to do...)

~Volunteer. I think I want to start volunteering, preferrably with an organization that I can attach with. I'm thinking the humane society...but I'm undecided and need to do some research.

I think that's enough for now - it's a pretty hefty list and I need to get started on it, and nothing changes over night. I'm tired of drifting and being 'blah' all the time. I need to re-energize, re-charge and become who I want to be instead of just being this boring run of the mill person. I want more...and I need to work for it. And maybe by starting on at least some of these things, opportunities will appear that will help me on my journey. Maybe a service trip, maybe a career in helping people, maybe a life somewhere else. Who knows? Maybe I will not get any of these things - but the life I have now will begin to become more of what I want and less of what I now realize I don't want.